i always knew i wanted to marry a strong, confident, ambitious man. i wanted a guy i could always count on to take care of me when i couldn't take care of myself, love me when i didn't love myself, fix stuff in the house when i couldn't didn't want to fix it myself. i wanted a guy i could take anywhere, who could hang with anyone. most of the time the strong-confident-ambitous part is an absolute must.

sometimes it's not.

like yesterday.

the overly confident and overly ambitious side of ty emerged yesterday afternoon. while i was writing a post, sitting in a quiet peaceful house, wyatt asleep soundly upstairs, i heard a sound i never want to hear again. the sound of grinding medal under my house. loud, eery, and unnatural. a sound no homeowner ever wants to hear. i remember that in the same moment i was thinking "yay! wyatt's still sleeping!" i heard the dreaded sound that blasted from our garage. "not anymore", i remember saying out loud as i walked through the door outside. i looked around, thinking for sure i'd see ty with a pressure washer tipped over, or the water heater unplugged in the middle somewhere. nope. nothing there. as i looked ahead, i saw him.

in his 4 runner. puppy heads staring at me from the back window, tow rope tied to the hitch. oh, and a tree down, slung across our drive way.

"what the hell are you doing?" i asked.

"i pulled the tree out," he said.

"something bad just happened," i snapped.

"ya, i pulled the tree down", he reiterated proudly.

"no, something BAD just happened. those roots have to be tied to something under the house. did you not hear that sound!?" i yelled.

"oh f%$#!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" he shouted.

that's when all hell broke loose. he ran to the garage, absolutely terrified. i've never seen him so freaked out. i ran inside and grabbed the baby monitor and within a few seconds was back outside, to find him buried in water, scrambling to find the knobs to turn it off. and then i knew. the roots were wrapped around the water lines.

"i'm going to f%$#ing kill you!!! i'm going to KILL you!!!!!!!!!!!!!" i screamed.

"i'm sorry, ok!? i'm SORRY ok!?!??!?!?!" he said frantically.

we were a mess. both of us.  i just stood there, seeing dollar signs... "what the f%$# do we do NOW!!!???" 

"call my mom!"

"i'm not calling your MOM!!!!!!!!"

"call my dad!"

"what the hell is he going to do, babe!?! what do weeeee DOOOOOOOO?????? do i call the police!??!?!??! " 

"i DON'T KNOW!!! HELP ME!!!!!" he was desperate. i knew now, we were f'd.

"I'M FROZEN! I'M FROZEN!" i was absolutely freaked out. mortified. pissed. mad. angry.

scared.

"call the city. call 4-1-1, and call and ask for snohomish utilities" - finally, he got his shit together.

i called 4-1-1, and the lady was totally useless. she wanted to talk to me about how she had never heard of snohomish before. i wanted to reach through the phone and strangle her. instead, i hung up and ran next door, crying hysterically. lisa and jay are amazing friends. they came outside, and instantly did all they could to help.

i ran inside and looked online and found a water line emergency number and went back outside to find that ty was able to get the water turned off for the most part. it was an absolute disaster in our driveway. a total shit show. neighbors were driving by now, practically stopping to rubber neck. at one point, i told a neighbor to keep driving - "nothing to see here" i said. kids on bikes zoomed by only to turn around and spy on us for their parents, i'm sure.

after a few "i'm sorries" and "we might have to stay in a hotel tonight so we have water" sentences mumbled under his breath, my "mr. fix it" had an update.

"i've got good news and bad news."

this should be good.

"the good news is it's not the water line. the bad news is our sprinkler system is broken."

what a relief.

"the water's back on, babe." the pride shining through his sweaty brow, and dirt encrusted upper lip.

"wanna medal?" 

as if all of this was just what he planned. thank goodness he pulled that tree out. those roots were deep and it could have been so much worse. i really owed him one.

riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.

i only had one question,"did you learn some lessons today, babe?"

as i saw humility quickly replace the pride, and that dirt encrusted lip smirk, i knew what was next.

"sure did."

and that was enough for me.

can't you see the humility behind his dirty knees?

home ownership at its finest

i'm putting a twist on my typical post today - that's not to say that this face doesn't continue to be the epicenter of our world. 

i'm having major issues with my house today. i've come to the conclusion that it has no personality. i wish i knew someone that needed to boost their interior design portfolio and wanted my house as their project. i have no time to do anything i wish i could do myself. i have so many ideas. i know i'm capable of doing some pretty cool things around here, but i just don't have the energy to put into it. i started a list today, after reading one of my favorite blogs and getting some inspiration. 

here goes: (a few inspiration photos included - all from my pin boards on pinterest!)

:: the family room ::

:: photo courtesy of blogs.babble.com ::

• put up a picture wall 
• put shutters in over the electronic cubby that screams "come hither, wyatt. you are soon going to be crawling and your parents are totally irresponsible leaving it like this for much longer"
• maybe something with instagrams in here? or on stair well?

:: the "heart beat of the house" / kitchen ::

:: photo courtesy of vtinteriors.blogspot.com ::

• new cabinet hardware would be fun
• always loved apron sinks - would it work in here? 

:: the love nest ::

:: photo courtesy of jamieherzlinger.com ::

• white curtains - floor to ceiling
• cute dresser - perhaps an antique scored in sno-ho? 
• what the hell do we do with behind our bed? 
• should we wall mount our tv? how do we not make it the focal point? that said, what IS the focal point in here? 
• giant wall mirror

:: our loft ::

:: photo found on schnauzloves.blogspot.com ::

• home office perhaps? 
• white desk

:: the world's tiniest back yard ::

:: photo by Bret Gum; www.sunsetmagazine.com ::

• should we paint adorondac chairs? 
• what about a bench?

anyone interested?

you're hired.

(just as i finished writing the above post, our afternoon shifted into high gear... and by high gear, i mean i lost my shit in our driveway. i'll save that for another post... and by another post, i mean when i find the events humorous enough to post about. right now, i'm still slightly pissed at my husband. hint: think towing a tree out by the roots, when the roots happen to be tightly wrapped around water lines. awesome.)

dear wyatt >> lucky 7

7 months already sweet bambino. this time last year, we were just a few days away from finding out you were a baby boy. we were just a few days away from our little world changing again. when we saw you, your daddy and i were so proud of you. bouncing around in there, in your little zone. you're still like that you know. you like your little zones. your most favorite zone is simple - it's at home. when you're with daddy and i. you are calm, happy, content. just like your mama is when we are all together. you are at the point now where you look for the one of us that isn't in the room. daddy continues to tell me that "monday's are hard" because all you do is look around every corner thinking i'm going to pop out and surprise you. 

this month's W pic was SO hard to take. auntie kaarin did everything she could to help me keep you on your back for 5 seconds and she did pretty dang good! she took the top pic and you are laughing at her in this one. love.

we are having SO much fun with you right now. you're doing a lot of really cute things. things like:

• giggle attacks on demand
• cheesy smiles where you squint your eyes 
• yelling - at the dogs mostly. when they bark, you yell... 
• sitting up 
• rolling, rolling, and more rolling
• eating solids - from the jar... you hate my home made baby food. of course, right? right now you really like carrots, bananas and pears. 
• knawing on your thumbs (still NO teeth!) 
• growing what looks to be strawberry blonde hair - i love how it's growing in -- so soft and fuzzy
• using different grunts and sounds for doggies, mama, and daddy -- you have distinct sounds for each of us!
• "swimming" (more on that later) 
• going crazy in your bouncy 
• aggressively playing with toys - you squeeze them
• hugs - you are so cuddly. how did we get so lucky? 
• loving books

you've been sick this weekend. so not fun for you. or us, if we're really honest. but, i became close friends with our moby wrap this weekend. thank God. or should i say, thank moby - same thing. we also used our shower to cheer you up. and it worked. yippee!

we had our first filling out of an incident report today. you got your first shiner at swimming. poor baby. i know daddy feels so badly about letting you tumble over onto your sweet little cheek, but the truth is - it's not going to be your last shiner. and it probably won't be the last time we fill out an incident report little guy. you were actually a lot less rattled than me. i say "actually" as if anyone reading this will be surprised. you are tough. just like daddy. you even got back in the pool and finished out your "lesson". good thing, there were lots of things to learn today - things like having daddy hold you in the water while you chewed on bath toys.

we have a lot of little moments these days, just you and i. i love the special bond we share sweet boy. i love how you are so your daddy at times, yet so me too. today we started our day together while unky and daddy slept in. we sat out on the porch and listened to the fountain and the birds chirp at 7am. you are so content outside. we could have probably stayed out there much longer if it wasn't so damn windy.

anyway, you're perfect. life gets better and better with you.

and if it means anything - monday's are hard for me too.

that's all.

love,
yo' mama

dear wyatt >> consider my stars thanked

dear baby,

you scared this mama tonight - big time. sometimes you get super cozy when you nurse before bed. and you eat too much. tonight, you did just that - so i thought. i got you ready for bed - diaper changed, jammies on, sleep sack zipped. you clung to me tight as you had your before bed "snack" and drifted off to sleep. just as you were about done, you swallowed wrong and practically barfed up half your meal all over yourself, me, the bobby and the carpet. our night time routine was interrupted - to say the least.

lights on, i stripped you of your night time garb and put you in new jammies and laid you in your crib. i got cleaned up, and as i came back in and started digging in drawers trying to find our other boppy cover, i heard this strange sound. i couldn't place it. and i was looking around trying to figure out what it was, it only took a millisecond before i saw you. on your back. bright red, almost purple, choking. i heaved myself over to you, flipped you over and patted your back, and swung you up to me. my heart was racing. my head was spinning. i could barely breath as i talked to you. "oh my god. oh my god. oh my god. you scared me. i love you so much. you scared me." i called for daddy and when he came up i could barely get the words out. i could hardly hear past the sound of my loud as thunder beating heart. as i mustered out the words, trying to describe what just happened i burst into tears... out of fear, and gratefulness. i know my reaction totally startled you because you instantly started crying when you saw me freak out.

i will never get that image out of my head. how quickly life can change. how if i wasn't there, in that moment, we could be having a very different evening. i can't even go there.

you scared me. i am sure i scared you.

we're even. no more of those. deal?