This past week Ty and I hit the 11 year mark since our very first date. Eleven years ago, our dates looked a lot different than they do now. Partly because we aren't in our mid-twenty's anymore, but also because Ohana's and Tialou's in Belltown shut their doors. Our dates were 3 or 4 nights out of the week, easy. We'd typically do a low key dinner out on Thursdays, Seattle bar hopping on Friday's and the downtown Kirkland scene on Saturday nights and easily into the wee hours of the morning. We'd drink, eat, drink, dance, and eat again to soak up all of the drinks. Hangovers were few and far between (for the most part), and we'd sleep in long enough to strum up the energy to hit the gym and do it all over again. Sure, there are times I look back on the fun we'd have being fun and fancy free, but I wouldn't call those the good old days. We had our youth, but were relatively broke (probably because of all that our social lives entailed - new outfits, big bar tabs maybe?), and our kidneys weren't our biggest fans. 

It dawned on us that it was September 16th, while we were out to dinner, just us, on a date. Date night for us is not out of the ordinary.  It's something we are super fortunate to get to do almost weekly. It's one of the, if not the reason we're still married. In the early days of our marriage, every night was date night. Our plans evolved into a lot of date nights in when we bought our first house, and we'd do a lot of week night trips to Thai food, sushi, and Mexican when we were too lazy to cook. When we had Wyatt, we took him with us everywhere that first year, and at around 6 months we had our first over night away for our 3 year wedding anniversary thanks to my mom. Ty's mom and my mom were our go to's back then (and still are!). We were your typical first time parents - not super trusting of just anyone watching our obviously very unique son. #sounique When Summer was born just 9 months after Wyatt's first birthday, we'd leave Wyatt behind and Summer was our third wheel. We'd still get out once a month or so, but again, it wasn't until she was about 6 months that we'd leave her back with Wyatt and hit the town. By 'hit the town' I mean we'd go to an early bird dinner within a 10 mile radius of the house. Still, we made it a priority because 'the grammas' made sure we took the time to invest in us. Thank God for them. When I look back on the early days with both Wyatt and Summer, it was hard to leave them at first. Mostly because we over analyzed the routine, and of course thought we were the only two people on the planet that could successfully pull off the bedtime routine. We were wrong. #reallywrong We learned quickly how lucky we were to have people around us that loved our kids. My brother and now sister in law, Rachel were also great sitters for us and I'd take every single one of their offers so I could eat dinner with Ty, without a baby on my boob. I'd take the time to get myself ready for our nights out, just to feel good about myself and in the moment. I may have dressed up black leggings with lip gloss, bronzer and curled hair, and I felt good about myself. It didn't take long before the kids were just as excited as we were, probably more, to leave. We were practically walked to the door before anyone showed up to watch them. We also found that the bedtime routine was quite a bit easier when we weren't home. Imagine that. #littleshits

As time went on, our kids' 21 month age gap shrunk in terms of developmental compatibility. They'd play together, watch movies and entertain each other for longer spans of time with each passing day. We'd found a couple of amazing babysitters that we could count on as well, and now we find ourselves sitting across a table from each other without any distractions, and absolutely zero guilt, 3-4 times a month. Thursday happy hours are a fave, where Ty and I will meet at a local spot at 5 and get home in time for his mom to drop the kids off so we can get them ready and tucked into bed. Those two hours tee up our weekend pretty perfectly. We get another 1 or 2 weekend date nights within the month, and typically find ourselves relatively close to home at a fun restaurant with live acoustic music and really great wine.  

These date nights for us are everything. Our weeks are long with work, commutes, after-work commitments, dinner, and bedtime routines. By the time our kids go to bed, our vocabulary is shot and our ability to hold a decent conversation is poor, at best. There was definitely a time where this had it's toll on us. Especially in the beginning. Our nights B.K. (Before Kids) involved only uninterrupted conversations, dinners out, dog walks, and workouts. We have accepted that our typical night now consist of chilling out. Sometimes we chill out together, sometimes we don't and that works for us. It works because in addition to all of the work and kid related routines we've fallen into, we've created another that's just for us. We're better parents because of this saving grace, when we can dream about the future, reminisce about the past and pretty simply, reconnect over how much we love this life we've created together. When we can pull ourselves up and out of the crazy chaos and realize that in fact, the good old days are right here, and right now.

I'm curious. What is your secret to keeping your marriage a priority? 

looking ahead // 2014

we're here. in 2014. and i know it's going to be a year of gratitude, balance, and peace. i just know it.

ty and i went to dinner last night, just us. albeit at 4:30, but dinner as a couple on NYE nonetheless. and it was perfect. we talked, and talked. and talked some more. we reminisced, planned, and looked ahead. we talked about what we hoped we'd be reflecting on in a year from now. our hopes for our kids, our family, and each other. our priorities.

it's easy with kids to forget about us. each other. it's easy to be too tired. too overwhelmed. too careless. too lazy.

too whatever.

none of those things are good enough of excuses, because at the end of the day we're living the life we always dreamed of. but if we're really being honest, it's not good enough to just live that life. we need to feel it, appreciate it, and never take this hand we've been dealt for granted. it seems there have been a lot of reminders lately - big ones, and small ones - that tell us to trust our guts, and love this life we have created a little, or a lot more. and it really does start with us. our marriage.

here's to not being too tired, too overwhelmed, too careless and too lazy. here's to loving each other more. thanking each other more. laughing with each other more. it's time to look ahead to our next NYE dinner, holding hands and looking back on 2014 feeling gratitude, balance, and peace.

cheers to you, and whatever your hopes are for the year ahead.

giving thanks today

i, like so many of you, are reflecting today. i try hard to be thankful for this life i have, and the people who make it so incredibly great, every day. i am blessed. i am lucky. i try hard to foster my relationships, be a good friend, wife, and mama. i am not the best, and i am not perfect. by any means. but i do appreciate so much of what i've been given. the good, and even the bad. i am thankful for lessons and for the people that make an imprint on my life - old friends and new ones. those that are still in my life, those that are not. today, i am thankful for my family - the one i've built with my love. 

ty, i thank you today honey. for being you. for loving me. putting up with me everyday. for laughing with me, and at me. for never letting me take myself too seriously. for giving me the most perfect babies. our center. our hearts. our world. you are the most incredible dad to our kids. KIDS! WTH!? you bbq like a son of a gun, you build baby gadgets and gizmos in record time, you mix a mean cocktail, and you definitely know how to have your way with a plunger. you are the most patient, positive, genuine person i know. you remind me to love life, have fun, let loose, and calm down. i love watching you teach wyatt how to do the same. (that's what you get for surrounding yourself with hot tempered scorpios!) thank you for always supporting me. for cheering me on, and reminding me what i am capable of doing. you are my perfect match, and you love me more than you should sometimes. i know i can be a crazy bitch, but this crazy bitch loves you more than i know how to show most of the time. you teach me to love better, and be better everyday. happy thanksgiving, stud.

my sweet kiddos, you guys are everything. you are the mascots of our family - of love. you give me purpose and challenge the heck out of me - hourly. you remind me how strong i am. it's been you two all along -the kids i've dreamed about loving until it hurts. i promise to love you, teach you, trust you, empower you, and obsess over you until i am ashes on your mantles. cool? happy turkey day, turkeys.

and to you, my sweet friends. this life is so amazingly sweet because of you. because without you, the people that love me for me, call me out, stand me up, cheer me on, laugh and cry with me, i'd be a pretty boring chick. i love letting my freak flag fly high with each of you, knowing you'll only love me for it.

giving thanks today, & everyday.

jordan

tag team, back again

we had a pretty gutsy last weekend of summer. i mean, having two kids and going anywhere is pretty much the biggest feat there is outside of child birth. and can i just say, this whole concept of being superwoman at child birth doesn't AT ALL compete with how gigantic my cape is when i am alone with both kids, around 5pm - making dinner amidst feeding a toddler, bouncing and tending to a newborn, and then cleaning up after dinner and bathing said toddler. the 5-7pm window is pretty much crazy town around these parts. and i've never wanted to shout GO ME any louder than the first (and maybe only) time i've done it. holy balls, that's some work right there. and really - what in the h did i have to "complain" about with one. if i could slap myself back in time i would.

perspective is a good thing. damn. gina.

ok, back to our weekend of gutsiness. three words: evergreen state fair. we tag teamed fo sho - ty had wyatt, i had summer and we did the fair. as best we could. with the dumond's - thank the lord. having another family to go with does make you feel like less of a sweaty mess, that's for sure. as if saturday's events weren't brave enough, we decided to take both kids to kirkland to the park.

sounds easy enough.

um. yah. no.

there was no parking.

so we parked up a big ass hill. in front of some rich person's house. i kept imagining them watching us unload as if we were their guests. at one point, i even joked and pretend yelled up to their window that we'd be back in an hour for dinner.

wyatt was in the bob. and thank god the brake on that bad boy worked. because if it didn't our kid would be heading to heaven right about now. think: christmas vacation sled scene.

i sweated my balls off trying to get SJ into her solly baby wrap. she hated it. i hated it too. who in their right mind would enjoy themselves in 80 degrees with a sweaty ball of fire strapped to your chest as you brace yourself in rickity flip flops down a hill made only for someone wearing a helmet and shin/knee/elbow guards?

there were a shit ton of bees. and they loved something about me - my perfume, the striped wrap. god knows, but i am sure i entertained those around me as i swiped the air around me vigorously too many times to count.

i had to nurse SJ there. and the only shaded spot was on a bench right next to the most visited public garbage can. and i had the solly wrap on, and did my best to navigate a swaddle blanket to cover my nip but about 45 seconds in i gave up and said f it. nipple, meet the breeze. and the eyes of a few perverted dudes. after more bee visits, i awkwardly carried my bobble head of a newborn and pushed a top heavy bob stroller up a grassy knoll while ty did his best to chase wyatt around the busy park on the water.

wyatt pooped. and we had no diapers. who in the eff has two kids in diapers and doesn't have one in their diaper bag. so ty had to run, carrying wyatt, back up that giant hill in 80 degrees to change him in the car. the whole time, i waited with SJ as she screamed her full head off as i tried yet again to get her back in the wrap. the girl was not having it.

so just as ty was getting back, we pretty much turned around. and i was that mom carrying her baby while wearing a worthless wrap. ty and i were sweating ridiculous amounts and both kids were in tears as we made our way to the car. i am sure ty wanted to cry too. i sure as hell did.

fun for all.

but the good news is this - we did it. we still got out of the house and took our kids to the dang park. go us.

and we captured a few pics that made the whole event look down right easy too.

feeding my soul

i've been thinking about this a lot this weekend. this whole "feeding the soul" concept. without getting all "oprah" and "chicken soupy" on you, let's go there.

i've had a lot of a-ha's (crap, oprah!) since becoming a mom. things that just didn't really make sense to me until i had a little munchkin of my own. things i respected but didn't quite relate to. i've acknowledged being a quality time kind of gal back before i got knocked up. it's only catapulted since becoming a wife, and even more since becoming a mama. it's a definite theme in my life. if i don't have quality time with the people i hold near and dear, i feel disconnected. empty. off.

when i went to college i made a really conscious decision. i was going to spend my time with the people i wanted to spend it with. i was going to spend my time doing the things i wanted to do, not the things i felt obligated to do. i was going to be friends with people because they fed my soul in some way. i was going to learn how to be alone. i was going to learn how to enjoy me. be who i wanted to be. not who i thought people wanted me to be. i struggled with this in high school. who doesn't, i guess. high school for me was about navigating around the cliques and finding common ground with people, but never wanting to draw a lot of attention to myself. i made a lot of amazing friends in high school. friends i still absolutely adore today. people that know me, love me, accept me. people who know my core. this carried me into college. i wouldn't go back to high school if you paid me a million dollars, but i would go back to my college years for free if i could. those years were so defining for me. i stayed true to who i was - for most of it. (i had a bumpy 6 months in there where i got caught up in religion [i'll save the really vulnerable details of that time for another day] and became this super over the top judgmental version of myself. that i'd skip if i could, but i can't. instead i've owned it, learned from it, and moved on.) i look back on my college years and think about all the people i met and all of the people that contributed to it being so amazing. meeting myself  in there was probably the most rewarding. my soul (and my gut) was full and fat in college. i learned what it felt like to feel that way. the only care i had in the world was getting to class on time, meeting up with my cronies at starbucks for hours on end, making plans to meet up at poppe's, passing whatever math class i was barely getting through, and what to eat for dinner - lemon grass thai food, haagen chinese food, pizza pipeline, or mac n' cheese. oh bellingham, how you fed me both figuratively and literally.

fast forward (and skip another 2 year stint of losing myself... man, owning it in here feels pretty good actually...) to today. my life is obviously so much different than my "wild and free" college years. but i have found new ways to feed my soul. i know, based off the posts i've shared the last 8 months, this won't come as a surprise. time with my little family feeds my soul. seeing my little guy light up when he sees that both mama and daddy are home to cuddle him on saturday mornings is what i call, well, the better than warm chocolate cake. i love his morning face, his little breath. i love hearing ty talk to him in the morning. and kiss him. i love the feeling of doing nothing but being together.

i feed my soul in other ways too - like spending time with just ty. the two of us together, reminiscing on how we met, what our life together so far has meant to us, and day dreaming about what is to come. i love spending time with my mama, laughing at the hilarity of trying on bras together, for instance. or spending time with my dad and trev. usually getting laughed at the whole time, but perfection none the less. or spending time with my sweet girlfriends - the one's that love me for me and have seen me through some thickness AND thinness. pun intended.

we all have to find it - the feeding-of-the soul "it" that drives us. makes us feel whole again. i know i'm a lucky chick. i know to some i may sound like the corniest, chicken soupiest girl out there. it doesn't really matter though to those that know the "it" i am talking about. it could be anything. but whatever you do, find it and own it. everything else just falls into place when you do.

am i right, or am i right? or am i right? right, right, right. (groundhogs day anyone?!)

on the wyatt-front, he's less than 5 days away from being 8 months old. dying here. i'll post his 8 month letter on friday!

happy sunday peeps.

water runs deep

i always knew i wanted to marry a strong, confident, ambitious man. i wanted a guy i could always count on to take care of me when i couldn't take care of myself, love me when i didn't love myself, fix stuff in the house when i couldn't didn't want to fix it myself. i wanted a guy i could take anywhere, who could hang with anyone. most of the time the strong-confident-ambitous part is an absolute must.

sometimes it's not.

like yesterday.

the overly confident and overly ambitious side of ty emerged yesterday afternoon. while i was writing a post, sitting in a quiet peaceful house, wyatt asleep soundly upstairs, i heard a sound i never want to hear again. the sound of grinding medal under my house. loud, eery, and unnatural. a sound no homeowner ever wants to hear. i remember that in the same moment i was thinking "yay! wyatt's still sleeping!" i heard the dreaded sound that blasted from our garage. "not anymore", i remember saying out loud as i walked through the door outside. i looked around, thinking for sure i'd see ty with a pressure washer tipped over, or the water heater unplugged in the middle somewhere. nope. nothing there. as i looked ahead, i saw him.

in his 4 runner. puppy heads staring at me from the back window, tow rope tied to the hitch. oh, and a tree down, slung across our drive way.

"what the hell are you doing?" i asked.

"i pulled the tree out," he said.

"something bad just happened," i snapped.

"ya, i pulled the tree down", he reiterated proudly.

"no, something BAD just happened. those roots have to be tied to something under the house. did you not hear that sound!?" i yelled.

"oh f%$#!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" he shouted.

that's when all hell broke loose. he ran to the garage, absolutely terrified. i've never seen him so freaked out. i ran inside and grabbed the baby monitor and within a few seconds was back outside, to find him buried in water, scrambling to find the knobs to turn it off. and then i knew. the roots were wrapped around the water lines.

"i'm going to f%$#ing kill you!!! i'm going to KILL you!!!!!!!!!!!!!" i screamed.

"i'm sorry, ok!? i'm SORRY ok!?!??!?!?!" he said frantically.

we were a mess. both of us.  i just stood there, seeing dollar signs... "what the f%$# do we do NOW!!!???" 

"call my mom!"

"i'm not calling your MOM!!!!!!!!"

"call my dad!"

"what the hell is he going to do, babe!?! what do weeeee DOOOOOOOO?????? do i call the police!??!?!??! " 

"i DON'T KNOW!!! HELP ME!!!!!" he was desperate. i knew now, we were f'd.

"I'M FROZEN! I'M FROZEN!" i was absolutely freaked out. mortified. pissed. mad. angry.

scared.

"call the city. call 4-1-1, and call and ask for snohomish utilities" - finally, he got his shit together.

i called 4-1-1, and the lady was totally useless. she wanted to talk to me about how she had never heard of snohomish before. i wanted to reach through the phone and strangle her. instead, i hung up and ran next door, crying hysterically. lisa and jay are amazing friends. they came outside, and instantly did all they could to help.

i ran inside and looked online and found a water line emergency number and went back outside to find that ty was able to get the water turned off for the most part. it was an absolute disaster in our driveway. a total shit show. neighbors were driving by now, practically stopping to rubber neck. at one point, i told a neighbor to keep driving - "nothing to see here" i said. kids on bikes zoomed by only to turn around and spy on us for their parents, i'm sure.

after a few "i'm sorries" and "we might have to stay in a hotel tonight so we have water" sentences mumbled under his breath, my "mr. fix it" had an update.

"i've got good news and bad news."

this should be good.

"the good news is it's not the water line. the bad news is our sprinkler system is broken."

what a relief.

"the water's back on, babe." the pride shining through his sweaty brow, and dirt encrusted upper lip.

"wanna medal?" 

as if all of this was just what he planned. thank goodness he pulled that tree out. those roots were deep and it could have been so much worse. i really owed him one.

riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.

i only had one question,"did you learn some lessons today, babe?"

as i saw humility quickly replace the pride, and that dirt encrusted lip smirk, i knew what was next.

"sure did."

and that was enough for me.

can't you see the humility behind his dirty knees?

older & wiser >> 3 years in

sunday marks three years, babe. three years!? seriously! i can't believe all that we have experienced together since we took our vows in maui. when i think back to those two people that stood in front of each other and kicked off their marriage, i think of two people that had only just begun knowing what love and marriage and true partnership meant. we knew what it was in only the way newlyweds can really know it. that pure, excited, can't-wait-to-call-you-my-husband/wife way. the butterflies-in-your-tummy, try-not-to-cry-the-ugly-cry way.

our love continues to evolve in the way i had hoped. i remember my vows to you and the words often come to me when i think about where we've been, where we are, and where we are heading. "This love will change with every perfect moment, every struggle, every loss, and every gain. Our love will grow into something we can't yet explain, but I know that it will always be our biggest win."

i'm so proud of us, honey. we have our moments, just like any couple does, but i see us as setting an example. i see us paving the way and teaching our son what love is. not just the unconditional love we have for him, but the unconditional love we have for each other. you set the example for him in how you love me. i know that he will be a great partner some day because he has you to look up to. i've always known that. before he was here, before he was ours, i knew you'd set the example for our future babies. 

we have a real relationship. we have perfect moments.like when we laugh so hard at the same things. or when we share a quiet dinner, without phones, without distractions. trips to the beach, with our sweet pups. like when we saw our baby for the first time. we have struggles - hard days, sleepness nights, stressful work situations, family drama. we've been blessed to not experience a lot of loss. we are lucky enough to see gains come into our life everyday - through new friendships, our work, our family. 

you continue to be my biggest win. 

thank you for a true partnership - something i can rely on and trust in. something i am proud of. something i'm excited about. something that's ours. 

happy three years. cheers to us. cheers to our future.

love, 

me.