with each passing minute, hour, day, and week things get better. easier. life with two is everything i had hoped it would be. it's also everything i had feared.

it is hard. plain and simple. 

of course, we are so amazingly lucky to have these two amazing life changers. we're blessed. period.

this post is going to be about the god's honest truth. removing rose colored glasses in 5, 4, 3, 2, and 1. 

this week started off r o u g h. i had a low mom moment monday afternoon. keeping my patience has really been my one and only goal the past 5 weeks. and i've done really damn good. except for monday afternoon and maybe two other times the week before last. here's the thing - this is all really good for me. spending time alone with both kids is the hardest work i've ever done in my life. in order to make one child happy, it seems it is at the expense of the other. always. lord help me until the day i can actually make them both happy. like really content and thrilled with life, at the same time. right now, keeping them both "happy" is me walking around with an infant hanging off my boob orangutang style while playing ring around the rosie with the other. i'm constantly back and forth between kids - popping a binky into sj's mouth, while cramming string cheese into wyatt's. or restarting the vivrator on sj's  bouncy in our room while singing wheels on the bus with wyatt while he plays with cars in the bathtub.  or my personal favorite (insert sarcasm here), bouncing sj in her bouncy on the island (safe) while browning hamburger on the stove top (back burner), while allowing my son to push every riding car he has out our back slider. 

#whaterverworks #thenewnormal 

the hardest part about it all is remembering i'm still a good mom. a great mom. i love my family and i am doing the best i can. kind of my new matra. even on the hardest of days. even on monday. i may have had a low moment, but i worked my butt off that day to love my kids, keep my sanity, and keep an orderly house. (an orderly house? who am i right now?)

it's about the little moments now with two. the moments where i catch wyatt being so sweet and so gentle with his sister. the moments i know how much he loves her. when i see little flashes of life ahead to times where i know i'll see them protect one another. you see, i gave them such an amazing gift. each other. siblings understand you in a way no one else can. they understand what makes you tick before you even know what that means. they know you before you know yourself. they are always there for you. no matter what. even when you hate each other, you love each other. 

i caught wyatt stealing sweet kisses from his sister and i thought my heart would explode. i know there are so many moments ahead where i feel real pride for my littles. this is only the beginning. 

to say that the work is worth it would be yet another one of my gigantic understatements of a lifetime. 

#welcometomyworld

dear summer >> happy one month, toots!

hi sweet girl - you are already one month, and i am dying over how quickly it's gone by. wowza. you are  growing so much everyday. there are so many things about this last month i want to cherish and remember for ever.

you're smiles. dang girl - you started stealing hearts with these bad boys super early but now it seems like you smile on command. it can't be gas. you are a happy baby and you started letting the world know about 2 weeks ago!

you are so easy to calm. of course you have your moments but for the most part, as long as you are swaddled and being shushed, you stop crying and conk out. you definitely like to be upright. you are bright eyed and observant.

you might just end up to be a thumbsucker. you have found it a few times, and i feel like you find your hands and fingers pretty quickly for being so little.

i'm loving how quickly you are chunking up. your little legs are getting rolly and your arms are just like mine were when i was a babe.

you are a mama's girl. of course you love your daddy, but i love these early days because i have the boobs and i know you always want to be around me. i will take it because i know some day, when you are older you will want me out of your business. not so fast sweet girl, mama is here to stay! i can't wait to remind both you and your big brother how much you loved my boobs when you were babies. kidding. kind of. i might have to whip that out for a reaction some day around your friends if you are pushing my buttons!

your sweet soft little perfect head is something i want to cherish forever. i love how soft and warm it always seems to be. the fuzziness of your hair and how you love to be soothed when i brush your hair forward with my hands, or brush over your brows and nose to get you to fall asleep.

i love your linty fingers. not sure why, but guessing it has a lot to do with my picking infatuation. i can pick your linty fingers and know i am not hurting you!

i never want to forget your serious poop face. and the fact that you work pretty hard to "bear down" to get everything out. you definitely don't have any problems in the "poop up my back and into my hair line" department. you go girl.

i love that you aren't a projectile barfer. at least for the most part. we've only had a few explosions and honestly i think it's a number two thing. i have learned to not overfeed my baby and i don't forget to burp you like i might have done with your brother. learning everyday here.

mostly, i just love you and your sweet presence in our family. knowing that you're ours and having so much to look forward to as you continue to grow and learn makes my heart full. you are amazing and beautiful. perfect in every way. you complete our family and even after only a month, it's like you've always been here.

love you little girl. we'll keep you.

your mama.