Sweet girl, how in the world are we here, 365 days since we first locked eyes? I haven't seemed to really put my head around any of this. Yet, here we are. Time is funny like that. You'll experience this when you have your own tiny one someday. You have zero control over how quickly things move, and time will never fly so fast than it will when you start your family. Someone once told me it's like sand in your hands, this time of our life. They were right. It slips so fast I can't catch it and the best way I know how is to be as present as possible. You'll notice I haven't written to you has much, or at all, the last 12 months like I did with your sister and brother. I made a choice around 3 months with you to write less, and live more. I feel pretty damn proud of myself for that. I was so intimidated as a new mom with both Wyatt and Summer that I found comfort writing about my feelings to them in my downtime, rather than being more present in real time. With you, I wanted to feel it, live it, see it, more. You are quite possibly, almost definitely, our last baby. There is something about knowing that, combined with doing this a third time, that helped me experience you differently. From pregnancy, birth, to now at the first year mark. I will remember things differently with you, and funny enough that has kind of been the goal since the second we found out we were pregnant with you. I wanted everything to be different. I wanted to be different. And while you're the 'reason', Wyatt and Summer have benefited from you in this department as well. They've experienced me differently because of you. You're like this heat that warms us. You're the center, the fire, of our family right now. You don't even know how much you've taught all of us already.
Your personality is so damn funny. We see you as this opinionated, silly, vocal, little person. There's never a moment we don't know how you are feeling. One second you are calm and kicked back, and seconds later you can change on a dime and show us you are busy and present and loud. You love attention, but you love your space. (Very hard to come by, by the way!) You want to be around us and touched and cuddled, but you also want to be moving, and doing everything yourself.
At one, you are kind of sort of saying Mama, you blow bubbles, and you are taking about 8 steps at a time. You dance and sing (currently T-Swift is your fave), and stand and shake your booty. You love your chairs, food (anything, really but especially raspberries), you poop on schedule every day at 5am (not my favorite thing about you, I admit), and you nap and go to bed like a pro. Your thumbs are your BFF, and you love water and climbing the stairs.
You are smart and super aware of what's going on around you. You see and then you do. It's pretty impressive how you pick up on things happening around you. You are confident and spirited, and you love your people. And we sure love you.
Here's to all you are, and all you'll be little one. Thank you for choosing us. You're everything and more when we dreamed about you. You are our dream come true.
Happiest first birthday to you, and here's to many more to come.
Love,
Mama
