halfsies

6 months ago, you were exactly 90 minutes old. i am pretty sure i was hunkered down on the bed while i cozied with gramma, auntie, and a cold yet absolutely delicious mcdonald's cheeseburger. you and your daddy were over by the tub getting to know each other. i was the happiest i had ever been in my life. i'll never forget those early moments with you. you were so tiny. so new. so incredibly loved.

every sunday i think back to those moments. i love that you were born on a sunday night. sunday nights have always been reflection nights for me - pre and post you, i'd always use sunday evenings to think back on my week, and look forward to the next. at about 7pm every sunday night, i settle down for the night. cozy into a book, my bed, a snack, or a bath. now, i find myself thinking about the sunday you were born and wonder if it will always be this way. will i always think about your birthday on sunday nights? i hope so. 

at 6 months old, you continue to amaze your daddy and i. most of all, we are still just so in awe of you. so proud of you. so proud of us. so happy. so blessed. so in love. you make us better. 

at 6 months...

• you've found your feet. you love to cram your toes in your mouth, along with anything else you can find.
• you don't have any teeth yet, but you seem like you're getting close. you've been sucking so hard on your bottom lip that you have a little bruise there now. and yes, that freaked me out probably more than it should of. chalk it up to my first time mama syndrome. 
• you are almost sitting up, but you prefer to stand. i have a feeling you aren't going to be much of a crawler. you've been standing up since your first week on earth. 
• you are such a little flirt - you love to smile and giggle at the ladies. 
• you've started taking your binky in and out of your mouth and i secretly love watching you put it in upside down. the confusion on your face as you start sucking on it and realize something just isn't right is priceless. 
• you love to sleep on your side, and still continue to wake up numerous times a night. we still love you.
• you're rolling over, but barely. not because you can't, but because you really could care less. you still only half stand being on your tummy - you much prefer your side. 
• you definitely know how to maneuver around in your bed. most of the time when you are playing in there (or your pack n' play) you make a 360 degree turn in there within the first 2 minutes of play time. 
• you love to be read to. your favorite books right now are "peek-a-who" and "sheep in a jeep". you get so into these books and i love watching you kick your little legs so hard at the turning of every new page.
• you are becoming such a big boy. even today, putting you down for your nap, you seemed so grown up. looking up at me as you tried your best to get cozy and fall asleep. you'd squeeze your little eyes closed, knowing it was ni-night time. 
• you are so chatty and you love to hear yourself scream. 
• you love to hold onto things yourself - already so independent. 
• you love your daddy. you look for him when he's not around. you try to get his attention every second you can when he is. 
• you love your jumpy. and you definitely have no qualms about telling us when you don't. 
• you definitely notice the pups. you reach for them, smile at them, and watch for them. 
• you think it's funny when i kiss your neck. you giggle and it melts me every single time. i could hear your giggle forever. 
• you love to be outside. i love watching you feel the breeze and smell the air. most of all, i love watching you experience new things for the first time. you notice every sound. every bird. every kid on their bike. 

there's a lot of things i don't know about being a mom. i'm learning so much about this new life everyday. but i know that time will continue to move at the speed of light. i know that my heart will always be bursting at the seams with love for you. i know there's nothing i wouldn't change. i know everything happens for a reason. i know i'll make mistakes. i know you'll love me anyway. 

on the days i feel like i could do better, all i need to do is look back to that perfect night 6 months ago and remind myself that i AM better. 

i am better because of you.