first day

we've been so lucky to have had ty's mama watch our sweet boy since we went back to work after he was born. i went back at his 4 month mark, and then ty spent that 4th month home with him. at 5 months, my mother in law, voni, started watching him 3 days a week while the other two he spent with us. it's been a real blessing. not only has it been wonderful to have him with family for his first 19 months, it's also been great on our budget. child care is spendy! wowza!!!

today marked another first for our sweet boy... and for our family. it was a big day. we decided to enroll wyatt into a great little curriculum based child care center, bright horizons. it was important that we started him before we brought another little bean into the mix because 1. i really wanted him to have his "own thing" to do a couple days a week and 2. i am really going to need those two days a week with sj, while not having to worry that my little munchkin boy was getting his development needs met. those first few months with her are going to be a little nutty. in addition, we're hoping voni is available in dec/jan to start watching our girl like she did with wyatt. wyatt is starting at 2 days a week at bright horizons, but will transition to the 3 when i go back to work after sj's maternity leave.

we went and visited the "school" back in early april and immediately got onto the waiting list. we found out a few weeks ago that "we got in" and have been gearing up for the big day ever since. we went and did a little visit last friday and he did totally fine. the first hour was a little shaky but by play time outside and lunch, he was a-ok. but that's when we left - right before nap time. that's been the biggest conversation piece for ty and i. nap time. how the hell is that going to look for our kiddo who knows nothing other than sleeping in his room, in a crib, in the dark, with a sound machine blasting? mats on floors, with kids all around, and a somewhat bright room was not something we could picture him sleeping in - at least for awhile. i am so glad we didn't spend a lot of time obsessing over today this weekend. it wasn't until last night that we realized what we were walking into. we have never, ever, just left him somewhere.  at least not for awhile. i can count on one hand the number of times we skipped out and left him with a grandparent. maybe twice. we've always been lucky enough to have people come to us... so the thought of just dropping him off and walking out was a lot harder than either of us prepared for. lucky for me, i didn't really have to.

ty had drop off duty. i am not really sure why i thought he'd be better at it then me. selfish reasons maybe. most likely. yes. i just couldn't imagine doing it. i'd probably end up leaving with him, getting my money back, and quitting my job if i had to do it. ty did great, but it was rough. he admitted it was one of the toughest things he's done. he said that wyatt was uneasy at drop off and that he watched him through the window leave and gave him this look like, "how can you actually be leaving without me right now?!" big eyed. worried. sad. i know ty cried. even if he doesn't admit it to me. i knew it was hard. i let him know that we could call any time we wanted to check in so i decided i'd do it - for ty. right. actually, i really didn't think i'd need to call but when i mentioned it to ty, he said that i should call so i did. i really expected to hear, "oh he's totally fine. as soon as ty left he was running around playing with the other kids." nope. not exactly. instead i heard, "he's doing ok. he's fine as long as one of us is holding him, so we're doing that now. he spent the first 45 min or so crying off and on. he doesn't want to eat his lunch..." he doesn't want to eat his lunch? he CRIED off and on for 45 minutes?! he only wants to be held?! i couldn't get off the phone fast enough. my sweet friend at work asked me how he was doing and i burst into tears (weird). i knew he was going to be fine. i knew it was only the first hour. but those are not words a mama wants to hear. i contemplated for a split second leaving right there to go get him. to rescue him. to scoop him up and never look back. but in another split second i realized that this was a change but it was going to be so good for him. so good for us. he needs to be with other kids, learning and growing and playing. i texted with ty an hour or so later and we agreed that he was going to be OK and that it was better we were introducing him to this now and not later. we just need to give him (and us) time to adapt.

about 45 minutes before i left to pick him up, i got a note and a picture that read:

Hey, Just wanted to let you know that after we got off the phone with you Wyatt ate some lunch, played on the climber with his new friends and is now sleeping. :) See you later this afternoon! -Ashley

music to this mama's ears. thank you baby jesus. he actually NAPPED. talk about a thrilling message. when i went to pick him up, i spied on him for a minute or so before walking into the room. he sat with the kids at the little half moon table and chairs, eating watermelon. his shirt front was sopping, and he was happily enjoying snack time with his new buddies. as i walked in, he saw me but stayed put in his little seat to eat. i sat next to him and caught up with miss andrea about his day. she said he had a "fantastic first day". good boy. we spent another 10 minutes there while he ate and ran around and i loved seeing him in no rush to leave. he was having fun. he liked it there. phew.

he was in the best mood tonight with ty and i. he ate a HUGE dinner, played with the pups, had a silly bath time, and practically put himself to bed before 7.

all in all, a fantastic first day. for all of us. might as well throw in some change now - because this mix is about to get all shook up in 8 or 9 weeks.

sincerely,

hanging on tight.