:: christmas morning, annoyed with daddy's flashing camera already :: 

we had a special christmas. this boy of ours may not quiiiiiite get it just yet, but he's having some fun with his new toys and he absolutely loved all of the attention the last few days. he loves his family, that's for sure.

i love the independence that comes with our walking boy. this stage is by far, my most favorite. i can remember when wyatt was 3 days old -- the hormones were full on to the right crazy mode, might i add. anyway, i can remember laying in bed with him praying time would stop. i was sad. i was frustrated that no one told me that i would feel that way. i wanted to freeze time. i wanted wyatt to be tiny forever. i remember texting lindsay and asking her if she felt that way when her sweet girl, caroline, was born. she said that she might have felt that way in the beginning, but that she loved every stage so much. she started to realize that she was saying "now, this is my favorite stage" a lot. and that with each passing month, and each stage, it just got better. i remember thinking how grateful i was for her in that moment, but still doubted her words. damn hormones.

she was right. like, big time.

:: went straight for his elmo. he's no fool. ::

i think this is my most favorite stage yet. wyatt's walking, and chattering, and learning, and soaking in this life around him. he is smart and creative and funny. he is silly. he is assertive. he watches us. he mimics us. he laughs with us. he loves elmo. and playing with daddy. and enjoys food and eating. he loves being chased and tickled. he loves playing with trucks. he is a sucker for music and any chance he gets to dance. he sings.

:: he's saying "da da da da" here, in case you were wondering ::

i love thinking about all that we have to look forward to with him. i look forward to every stage now. i think less about freezing time, and more about what's to come. as hard as it is to think about how fast time goes sometimes, i look forward to all of the stages of his life. we are lucky. and i am grateful.

this life is short. it's a blessing. it's about family. it's about living it.

:: and screaming with excitement here ::

 i hope you had a special christmas and found joy throughout your day. you deserve it.

we all do.

christmas card contenders

we sent our cards this week. i couldn't be more excited about the pictures we chose for them. they are so stinking cute. we had a few really cute contenders as well that i wanted to share because, well, i can't get enough of them either.

but the real winners couldn't be beat. 

we had fun. and we were cracking ourselves up as we drove home. sure, put your 1 year old on an old and busted tire swing. a tire swing filled with mucky water, and accompanied by a gigantic spider web. let go. he's fine just swinging there all alone. there might be a nasty muddy leaf covered hard ground below him, but he won't fall. he's holding on for dear life. he's doing his best to make his mom and dad proud by squeezing out a few smiles for a good photo opp.  look at his little hands gripping that rope so tight. such a big boy. 

we were proud little guy. you did good. 

merry christmas from us to you. hope it's the best yet!

dear wyatt >> there is good in this world

sweet boy, i always hug you extra tight. i cherish you every day. but this weekend my hugs were more reflective, more thankful. i kissed you and smelled you and loved on you, breathing you in. 26 moms and dads lost their loves on friday in such a tragic way. 20 of them were little kids - little perfect kids, with so much life to live. to say it has shaken many of us to our core would be an understatement. i know i've written to you about this before, a few months back when there was a shooting at a movie theatre in colorado. i really didn't think it could get worse than that. i was wrong.

now that i have you, i see things through such a different lens. i really can't imagine our world without you. i have cried for those moms and dads all weekend, wondering how in the world they can go on. i pray they have other children to remind them that life must go on. to imagine the pain in their hearts the moment they learned that it was their child that wouldn't come out of that school on friday is just awful. the images that must go through their heads. i once heard a woman describe life after she lost her son - she explained that as her world froze in time, everyone else's seemed to go on. as much as she wanted to bury herself in her bed, and never come out, her family still needed her. the clock still ticked. the sun came up. it went down. time didn't stop, as much as she wanted it to just stop, it wouldn't. as much as she hated it, it was what ended up saving her life. i pray for those parents multiple times a day. hoping that one day they remember their sweet babies without the overwhelming memories of how they were taken.

it's hard to think about the world i've brought you into, wyatt. it's days like friday where i wonder if there is any good at all. i promise you there is. there is good in the world. it's filled with love, and wonder, and peace. there are amazing people everywhere, with stories to share. stories i know you'll learn from someday. amidst tragedy, there is hope. there are people that come to each others' side. friendships are strengthened. i promise you sweet boy, there is good in this world.

we will continue to show you the goodness, as you continue to show us.

love you always,

mama