when ty and i began dating seriously (which didn't take long) we knew right away that this was it. when we found each other, our conversations centered around how we'd start our lives together. it didn't take long before we started talking about the things we wanted to do as a couple, and even as a family someday. being together forever went without saying pretty soon into our relationship and things like having kids, buying houses, future trips, shared morals and values were on the table pretty much right away. ty and i have always liked dreaming together. we love talking about "someday". i don't think we were prepared for what once was a big dream of ours. today marks 7 weeks with our precious boy. needless to say, our christmas wish came true when we were blessed with our beautiful, healthy son.

let's talk about this week.

first of all, who hates tummy time? this guy.

i hate tummy time too. it seriously breaks my heart to hear him cry. he REALLY hates it. i am waiting for the day where his mood changes, the tears come to a screaching hault, and this little babe actually enjoys it. until then, i will sit down stairs waiting for the minutes to pass while ty roots him on.

we had our moments this week, but we found solice in our bathrooms. wyatt loves the sound of the bathroom fans. he could be red-faced pissed screaming and when i walk into our bathroom and turn the fan on, he instantly calms down and is quickly out like a light.

speaking of out like a light - wyatt made a shift this week and decided to skip his 2am feedings. go baby! so our routine made a nice shift too. bed time routines start around 9pm and he's usually asleep and swaddled in his swing by 10:30. he'll hang downstairs with daddy until he comes to bed and he'll then wake up around 5 to eat. thank you baby jesus. he'll eat, poop, get a diaper change and get re-swaddled and is back to bed within 30-40 minutes where he'll give us another 3 hours. love this kid.

we also had a major milestone this week - bottles! i pumped a bottle for ty to feed wyatt on thursday and it was so freaking cute to see daddy feed the babe. he's been feeding him one bottle a night. it's giving this mama a little relief, and this daddy some more bonding time.

in other news, (still baby related obviously) he's sleeping a little less during the day which means we're doing more awake time activities. things like cooing and smiling - things that make this mama well up with delight about 20 times a day. (this is where the tummy time comes in - ugh.) every other night, our bed time routine consists of bath time which we all three are loving. we're using a crap load of water because we're still putting him in the tub with me, but it's seriously the cutest and most fun thing for us right now. the babe loves it and we do too. it's great bonding for us as a family.

speaking of bonding as a family - our first christmas has been full of bonding time. ty was able to take quite a bit of time off and we were able to do a ton as a family this last week. spending time together as parents is now my most favorite thing in the world. i can't get enough of it. loving wyatt together and being a team is the most rewarding job i've had. it's also the toughest and most exhausting. but again, love.

worst mom ever - confession #1

today marks 6 weeks and i can't believe it. the time has flown by incredibly fast and it feels like with each passing week, this little face develops more and more. wyatt's personality is starting to shine through, making me that much more excited for each of his many stages. when he was three days old, i can remember laying in my bed looking at him and feeling sad that he was "already three days old" and sad that "time was going by way too fast". i can remember tearing up for the first time since he was born and wanting time to stop. i honestly wanted him to stay that size forever. at 6 weeks i can tell you how excited i am for tomorrow. this week, wyatt has started to find his little voice - responding to ty and i when we talk to him with a little coo here and there. my new favorite thing he's doing is what i will go ahead and call his "pre-cry". his lip curls in and his eyes gloss over with what will become a large crocodile tear if i don't pick him up right that second. if i don't pick him up at that very moment, his eyes tightly close and i get this face:

wyatt was sick all week and still sounds pretty "phlemmy". i too got sick on thursday, and have been fighting it all weekend. not fun, but i will say that "little dude man" (as ty likes to call him) was easy on his mama the last few nights - only waking up once in the middle of the night and then up at 6 to hang with daddy. (still LOVING this time to sleep!)

i do have a guilty mom confession to make that i believe is worth making note of for myself - you know, when i start to get really confident as a mom and get perfect. ya right. hence the title of this blog. i am realistic enough to know there will be more. more "worst mom ever" moments. here goes...

on wednesday i met with two friends. thinking i could time it perfectly with feedings, i scheduled them back to back. not smart. at all. i ended up in the parking lot, in the back seat of my car feeding wyatt while texting date #2 that i was going to be late. this isn't even my confession. after date #2, as if i hadn't learned my lesson with my horrible timing after date #1, the ride home turned into a mother's nightmare. i was still about 15 minutes away from home when it happened. loud, "i'm not going to stop until i have boob" cries from the back seat. on 405. in traffic. i had the poor kid SO bundled up. as if my car was a 1981 honda with no heat. as if i lived in alaska. we had an under shirt, a thick long sleeve shirt, closed feet pants, a bundle me, a hat... you name it. any and everything that i could possibly have to keep my sweet baby warm. warm? let's try stifling freaking hot. so add this mess to a pissed off 5 and a half week old and what do you get?

a horrible heat rash.

i know.

mother of the year.

so add the heat rash to some baby acne and a cold and you get one not so fun baby. i felt horrible. actually, i felt beyond horrible. my aunt who is also a pediatrician did her best to make me feel better and say it's "totally normal" and "it's not that bad" but i still obsessed over it until, well today. it's gone today. the reminder of "my worst mom ever" moment has now passed but i will say - lesson freaking learned.

this week should be filled with less sick and rash and more fun! until then, here are some of my favorite iphone pics of the week (and can i tell you how much i love instagram - i was able to take some adorable pics and hide the baby acne and rash pretty dang well if i say so myself!):

 

rainbows and butterflies

i'm sure you've all been waiting for it - the "let's get real" post, or the "just you wait" post... well, here it is.

in the words of one of my favorite groups, maroon 5 - "it's not always rainbows and butterflies, it's compromise..."

this past week has been about compromise. whether it's my diet, ty's workout schedule, or my sleep schedule. it hasn't been the smoothest of weeks. earlier this week, we realized that i was eating something that wasn't mixing well with wyatt. each time he ate, he was so upset afterward. he also got a rash that made me suspect that it had to be food related. i decided i'd cut dairy, wheat, and chocolate - three popular baby allergies. i had a strong suspicion dairy was a culprit, and saw a reaction from him from really early on when i had chocolate. i did the wheat just because i was feeling super guilty and thought "might as well". for the latter part of last week we saw a change in our boy -- until this dang cold. he's been stuffy all weekend and it's been so sad. he struggles mostly at night - making it not so fun for this mama. last week, ty and i worked out a small routine. since he's working and i'm breastfeeding, there isn't a ton for him to do at night to help. plus, it makes zero sense to have both of us completely exhausted. in the evenings, i try to go to bed with wyatt around 10-11, depending on when he feeds. i will get up with him throughout the night, and then after his last morning feeding, usually around 6-7:30, ty takes over for the next 3 hours, giving me a nice stretch of sleep before my day kicks off with the bambino. (ty's work day starts around 11 so this little plan works out nicely for us.) i have to say, i look forward to this stretch every night. i know that no matter how bad our night may be, i will get a decent stretch of sleep first thing. i live for that last feeding. wyatt usually will have a feeding between 10-11:30, then again between 1-3, then again between 5-7. that's a typical night. until last night. which sucked. i was up from 1-5, then again at 6:30. ty got up with him after his last feeding where i was able to sleep from 7:30-10:45. lovely. except we had our dear friends, the burnaby's, coming at 11. i got ready quickly and fed the babe while ty showered and cleaned up the house. don't ask me how we did all of that in 20 minutes. we just did. magic i guess.

i know this is just the beginning of the realities of having a child. we are learning everyday. compromise is the name of the game. bartering and bribery come later. (although, i did tell ty i would pay him $1 billion trillion dollars if he could figure out a way to get his nipple to lactate.)

thank you again to everyone for their support this week. i am loving all of the advice i'm getting on facebook from my friends. they have such great ideas. this week it was especially helpful with the food issues and the cold. thank you, thank you, thank you. keep it coming.

just a few of our favorite pics from the week:

28 days / 4 weeks / one month later...

at 4 weeks, little love, your mama is changed. becoming your mom just 4 sunday's ago, has been the best thing to ever happen to me. you are the light of my life, the most amazing gift. sure, you cry sometimes but i love you anyway. you keep me up at night, but i love you more each day. every morning when i see your sweet face after even the shortest of sleep stretches, i am so much more in love than i was even hours before. this past week, you've started smiling and it absolutely melts my heart. most of the time you are looking right past me and smiling at who knows what - but i'll take it anyway. i'll take every smile, every cry, every look, every little sound you give me. to say that you are loved is probably the hugest understatement i'll ever make.

i was thinking the other day of the things i would have told myself prior to your arrival... things like:

enjoy eating using both hands
enjoy taking uninterupted naps
enjoy a body that belongs solely to you
enjoy not having a physical reaction to the sounds of baby cries
enjoy not being paranoid or concerned over something constantly
enjoy not doing laundry several times a day
enjoy driving and not worrying about what may take place in the back seat should you hit a red light

and most importantly...

get ready to feel a love like you never have before - a love so overwhelming and special, that only you will know it when you meet your baby.

today marks another of our many milestones. you've been in our lives for a short 4 weeks, but we really can't imagine our world any other way. as i write this, your dad is down stairs trying every trick in the book to get you to calm down. we call the next several hours "cranky time" in our house. you like to give us a run for our money in the evenings, but we are learning more each day. together, the three of us learn patience. you with us and us with you.

good night sweet boy - we love you.

to the moon and back.