clarity.

this maternity leave has really been life changing for me. i've had this time with my two littles that has done this mama wonders. it's been the most rewarding, most challenging, hardest but most incredible time for me. i went into this time not quite sure what to expect to be honest. i'm coming out with new perspective (duh) and a completely new appreciation for stay at home mamas. this job is a test of patience i never experienced. and the return on investment, in terms of my time at home, really is priceless. the impact being home has had on our transition to a family of 4 has been huge. i can see it in my little guy - the joy on his face every day when he realizes i am home too when he wakes up melts me. to be here, every day when he wakes up is so special. it might sound so trivial to some, but you working moms know exactly what i mean. those of you that can't always be home in the morning to greet your babes with a squeeze, a kiss and a cup of "hot buk" (aka hot milk) know exactly how special this time is. i was the mom that had to rush out the door by 6 am in order to miss traffic and get on a call while on the road, and then into the office in time for another call at 7am. i was the mom that tiptoed through the house hoping not to see my son because, selfishly, it would be too upsetting for me to know i'd have to leave for the day before getting any quality time in with him. we've always been extremely lucky though. ty was always here when wyatt woke up. he had one of us here everyday when he woke up. (i worked from home on friday's just so i could see his little face in the morning and be the one to change his diaper and wipe his snotty nose before breakfast. i always loved and appreciated that more than words.) i was the mom that rarely stayed home with him if he was sick because it wouldn't be until i was already at work that we'd know something was up with him. ty was always the one rearranging his schedule to be home with him. before i went back to work after having wyatt, ty and i came up with a plan that worked for us. we knew we wanted him to be with us more days a week than he was with anyone else - whether that be my MIL or preschool. ty was with him on mondays, my MIL was here tue-thur and i was with him friday afternoons. 4 days with us, three with my MIL. today, he is with us 4 days and at school 3 days. i'm glad we've stuck to this plan. it makes me feel balanced knowing that his time during the day is split between a place he can be socialized and taught and developed and our home.

it's almost been 4 months since i started my leave. and this time has been hands down, the best, investment i've made for our family. i wouldn't give this time back for anything. and i'll never ever regret taking more than the "standard" time off with our kids.

kids. still getting used to that, 4 months in.